I love Eyeshadow. I love MAC, NARS and URBAN DECAY. I love to do all kinds of wicked and dramatic designs on my eyes. I love how makeup can just transform your whole look from smokey to sultry to bright eyes. It is so much fun and I am really enjoying creating all kinds of looks. All my life I never wore make-up. Now I am 30 and can't get enough of it. Whatever makes you happy.

I am happy today. I am also having a much better week than last week. I have gotten my eating under control, FINALLY! My sweet little binge addiction. I feel like I have taken a step towards learning how to control my addiction a little better. In the past, whenever I had a binge, I would beat the holy hell out of myself emotionally. This time last week when I was down and out binging, I told myself over and over, "I am not angry at you for eating this way. You are not a horrible person for eating this way. You have nothing to be angry about. You have a beautiful life." You know, I should have worse problems. If that is the only thing I am dealing with, then I am lucky. So anyway, Sunday and Monday I ate like a human being. So far so good today.

Nikki suggested reading a blog called Mystic Visions, so I did and it inspired me greatly. It made perfect sense. Try to do in life what makes you feel alive inside. For me it is languages and world culture. So, I applied to the Berlitz Language center for a position. Berlitz is a language center that teaches just about every language in the world. If I could just be around that environment, I would be one step closer to my dream. It would please me greatly. Hopefully I will get a phone call. If not, that is fine too. I never question fate and I believe that everything happens for a reason. Everything is riding on your Karma. Adios

I LOVE LANGUAGES! If I could do anything for a job it would be to learn languages. I like to immerse myself in a language, learn it, live it, speak it like a native. I like to make mistakes while learning the language, so many that I become fluent in the language. What I am saying, is that the mistakes cause breakthroughs in understanding the very meat of the language. I feel alive when I study French, Arabic, Portuguese, or what ever language I am pursuing. My favorite setting for learning a language is of course in it's country of origin. I did this in France and Costa Rica and they were some of the most exhilarating times of my life. Oh that is what I love to do and that is what I WANT to do. But some how I am stuck. Stuck in my job. Also, another love in my life is my boyfriend whom I adore and enjoy my life with everyday. However, because I am in a relationship, I cannot pursue my other dream and passion which is my languages. Oh the conflicts! If I was single, I am telling you right now that I would be in Italy studying Italian. Darn it. For now I can just appease myself by studying the languages here at home (phooey! NOT THE SAME!). But it hurts so much that I cannot pursue my dreams. You know on one hand I am living one dream, I live with the love of my life in peace, yet I still struggle with my extreme yearning for my languages. Whatever.